All right, so I’m not really that much of a fashion disaster. I think. I mean, I dress exactly like every other university student in Ottawa (I’m a sheep, I know. Bahhh) - skinny jeans, t-shirt, scarf, and Ugg boots, so I can’t be that bad.

Anyway, that was all well and great last year, when I was actually a full-time university student. But now that all of my classes are online, and I work full-time in a corporate setting, my good ol’ jeans and t-shirts aren’t exactly going to work any longer.

So I went to the mall last night in search of “business professional” clothing that I can add to my closet. Now, either I looked completely horrible last night (which is entirely possible, I suppose :P) or I must have had a huge sign on my forehead that said, “HALLLP, I have no clue what I’m doing,” because as soon as I walked into the store, two of the sales associates immediately came to my aid.

“I need some black pants,” I told them, “maybe even a couple of really nice cardigans.”

And thus, my lessons began.

I was suddenly transported into a new world, with a completely different language. Micro-twill, tweed, straight-leg, cuffless, flat-front, cigarette pants, palazzo…

Erm. I just wanted black pants.

The same thing happened when I asked for top and cardigan suggestions. Charmeuse, Georgette, Blouson, Eyelet, Poplin…que? I’m sorry, I didn’t think I needed a dictionary to go clothes shopping.

I honestly reached a point where I just wanted to quit, head to American Eagle, and grab another pair of skinny jeans.

But then a third (three sales associates - three - ajksdfhlsfsdfsdf) sales associate came and handed me these really nice black mico-twill pants. And they fitted perfectly! And they made me look like I actually had an arse (a hard feat to do, let me tell you). Then they gave me this really nice silky purple top to try on. I was a bit apprehensive at first, because Barney has pretty much traumatized me of anything puple, but hey, it worked. I didn’t look like Barney, and look, what do you know - I have boobs.

Ahem. Anyway.

I don’t really remember where I was going with that, but I did end up buying some really cute tops and sweaters and two pairs of the micro-twill pants (because looking like I actually have an arse = WIN).

I bought the purple, non-Barney top, a green (or “peacock” as they like to call it) wool cardigan, a charcoal shrug, and a super cute brown argyle sweater.

Not a bad haul, eh?

It was an educating experience, I can tell you that much. Business professionalism, here I come.

Now, if I can only figure out how to walk in four inch heels without looking like a duck, we may just attain world peace. Or, you know, I’d also settle for not falling flat on my face, and incurring a gigantic bruise on my bum.

(This whole being an adult thing? HUGE, MAJOR FAIL. Except for the money part. I’m totally down with the money part).

Edit: Clearly, I cannot spell. Fasion? Fasion? Akjdslfskhfdsf.